I have been going through a lot of changes lately. I am not only growing in confidence, but I have begun to let go of the shackles I put on myself due to the things I was taught growing up. I don't believe in everything I was taught. It isn't that it is wrong...as a matter of fact I believe it makes great people, but it isn't me...
I have been having many dreams that I am beginning to understand as I grown. The internal angel & demon thing fits me, but it is different from the one other people go through. I feel like the angel & demon have been fighting, because of what I was taught by this world, but they aren't meant to inside myself specifically. Where as other people are supposed to have one side dominate I have learned from my dreams that spiritually I am supposed to be a being created of both angel & demon with no boundaries. Light & dark don't exist. I was meant to create a balance & therefore can't be one sided.
Most people don't know, but Noble & Rippa are actually 2 different people. My personality was split due to things of my past. Those who knew me as Grim Rippa probably could have guessed. I was called Rippa & added Grim, because of my dreams of being the Grim Reaper & I could see how people would die before they did. As the "pure good" side of me grew I became Noble & switched back & forth till now when I can accept both as 1 person.
A lot of the things I do in the future people may have something to say about. Maybe that they are publicity stunts, trying to get attention, that I changed or whatever. It has nothing to do with that. I am growing. I am changing into my true self. I am shedding the restrictions I once put on myself. I am the same person. Just not as constricted by things I never believed in. I want to express myself artistically. I want to express myself as who I truly am even if people think it is wrong.
